We Don't Kill Spiders In This House
this is an unedited version of a story that will be featured in the gallery book for my project Wypominky Kobiety.
Killing a spider in my ancestral home was grounds for a beating. There was no shortage of wooden spoons at hand to be applied to my butt or the back of my head. It’s like this for most kids who grew up in a Polish- American home. In fact, I have one friend whose immigrant mother actually ran out of wooden spoons as a consequence of breaking them all on his dupa. Wooden spoon assault could be incurred for a variety of reasons- late for dinner, dirty hands at the table, failure to properly execute hospital corners on your bed sheets, skipped mass, disregard for the Holy Mother (that was YOUR mother first, then your grandmother, and then the mother of Jesus)... the list goes on. The very worst of these crimes, it seems, was killing a spider.
Polish women have been shuffling house spiders into corners, out of doors (only in the summer!) and away from the danger of the broom since time immemorial. They will often refer to Grandmother Spider as a totem of luck- if you kill one it will curse your finances, make rain, make drought, bring bad luck, spoil your milk and butter, again, an endless list of curses. The white eagle may be the symbol of the Polish people but Grandmother Spider lives in our homes.
The story of how Grandmother Spider came to live with us always happens around Christmastime. Some of the stories say that when the wise kings of the Epiphany came to bring the Christ Child gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh that they neglected to bring a blanket. They brought gifts for a king, but this child was needy in the poorest of ways, wrapped in rags, shivering. Grandmother Spider came into the manger and knitted him a blanket from her own silk. For this gift, she was blessed and her kindness was to be returned for all the time of humanity. She would never be killed in a home where there were Christian hearts. Another Epiphany story is that she wove not a blanket but a barrier to cover the door of the place where the Holy Family was hiding, to keep the authorities from finding them. Colloquially, it is said that Grandmother Spider invented the first Christmas tree decorations and she will bless you with both tinsel and good luck if you let her stay in when it is very cold.
Grandmother Spider’s stories tell us something about us too- about how we should be. She is small and unassuming but thrifty, creative, kind, grateful and devoted. We could do well by taking on her characteristics. So she remains in our houses, an honoured ancestor.
